The song "Not My Plan" by Ben Jelen explores the concept of feeling lost, confused, and alienated in life. The lyrics portray the narrator's struggle to understand their place in the world and their desire to find their purpose. In the first verse, the narrator reflects on their daily experiences, constantly writing a book that represents their life story. However, they emphasize that while the people around them come and go, their feelings remain unchanged. This suggests a sense of emotional stagnation and a lack of fulfillment. The chorus reveals the narrator's plea for guidance and understanding. They express a longing to be shown the answer to what went wrong in their life and to find a sense of belonging on earth. They feel disconnected, as if they have fallen from the moon and are searching for where they truly belong. The second verse further explores the narrator's confusion and the challenges they face. They admit that it is becoming harder for them to reconcile the lessons they have learned with the knowledge they have gained. The tables have turned, and they struggle to make sense of their experiences. They question whether they were lost in space, searching for some sort of transformative state or hoping to bring about positive change for humanity. The bridge section conveys a sense of despair and heaviness. The narrator mentions weighing something down across their heart, possibly symbolizing the burden they carry from their experiences. When they try to restart or begin anew, they feel like they have no starting point. The song concludes with the repetition of the phrase "This was not my plan," which represents the narrator's dissatisfaction with how their life has unfolded. They express a desire for help in explaining their feelings, possibly seeking understanding and connection. Overall, "Not My Plan" portrays the struggle of an individual trying to find their purpose and place in the world, while grappling with disillusionment and confusion.
