The song "Lying to Myself" by Jason Eady explores the emotions and struggles of the protagonist as they come to terms with their own shortcomings and mistakes in a relationship. The lyrics suggest that the narrator is aware that they have been holding onto their pride for too long and have avoided taking responsibility for their actions. The opening lines highlight the protagonist's initial reluctance to admit their faults and be proven wrong. They acknowledge that they have been clinging onto righteousness for too long, and if they were to confront the reality that they are to blame for the relationship's deterioration, they might sink into a deep emotional low from which recovery could be difficult. The lyrics also touch upon the notion of seeking forgiveness. The narrator acknowledges that they may need forgiveness in the future, but for now, they continue to live with the weight of their mistakes. They admit to running and fighting to survive, resorting to lying to themselves in order to stay mentally and emotionally intact. The song alludes to the protagonist's attempts to justify their actions to their friends, but withholds the truth about leaving their partner alone. They also mention that there were numerous occasions when the narrator was absent, but they had their reasons then, just like they claim to have their reasons now. This suggests a pattern of avoiding taking responsibility throughout the relationship. Despite being conscious of their need for forgiveness, the protagonist chooses to continue living in this way. They continue to run and fight, lying to themselves to maintain a sense of self-preservation and survival. The repetition of these lines reinforces the internal struggle and conflict within the narrator. Overall, "Lying to Myself" delves into the complex emotions, guilt, and defense mechanisms that one can experience after damaging a relationship. The song emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and the eventual need for forgiveness in order to move forward.
