Lyrics: If you wanted to love me, I would quit smoking And become a vegetarian. If you slept with me, The palms of my hands Would not feel as sad. And if the good guys bother you, And you look for tough guys, I will pretend to be the tough one Who punishes with cyanide kisses. If you're looking for someone to treat you badly, Count on me. If you want war, I have an arsenal Below the belly button. And when it comes to treating you well, I'll be better than a millionaire without money. Forget about cheap dudes, For you, I'll be a perfect gentleman. If you open your polka dot skirt for me, And ask me to take care of myself a little, I'll go jogging through the boulevards, In sweatpants and crazy. And if it's better to love you without permission, With rage and in cash, I'll love you like no one ever did, Whoever marked you the most. If you're looking for someone to treat you badly, Count on me. I never had a femme fatale, Nor did you have a friend. And when it comes to treating you well, I'll be better than a Lord in leather pants. Forget about cheap dudes, For you, I'll be a perfect gentleman. If you want a damn loser, Who humiliates and mistreats, Give me a little apartment and I'll be The asshole of your building. And if you're drawn to the nuances of my feminine side, For you, I will take communion at a ten o'clock mass, With millstone wheels. If you're looking for someone to treat you badly, Count on me. I never had a femme fatale, Nor did you have a friend. And when it comes to treating you well, I'll be better than a Casanova with a garter belt. Forget about cheap dudes, For you, I'll be a perfect gentleman. The song "Cuenta Conmigo" by Joan Manuel Serrat and Joaquín Sabina is about a man reassuring a woman that he is willing to do whatever it takes to be with her and make her happy. He promises to change his lifestyle by quitting smoking and becoming a vegetarian if that's what she wants. He also offers to be a tough guy if she prefers that, or a perfect gentleman who treats her well. The lyrics play with the notion of being someone who treats her badly but also present the idea that he will be there for her no matter what, even if it means being a loser in her eyes. Ultimately, the song is a declaration of love and dedication to this woman, showing that he is willing to go to great lengths to prove his love and make her feel special.
