"Shadow of Myself" by JT Machinima is a song that delves into the concept of darkness, inner demons, and a descent into evil. The lyrics depict a character who is afflicted with a sickness that is corrupting their mind and leading them towards wickedness. They feel addicted to this dangerous game they are playing, and believe that their god has damned them. The protagonist recognizes that their sense of self is corroded and their fate remains uncertain. They describe a state of rage and hatred, where heads and limbs are severed, indicating a violent and destructive nature. They feel unable to be saved through confession and are trapped in enduring eternal torture. The lyrics suggest that this anger and pain will continue to fester, and the character feels stuck between life and death without improvement. The imagery of the lungs filled with sweat and mud, unclean and diseased, highlights their deteriorating physical state. The song hints at a traumatic upbringing, with references to the character's parents force-feeding them something that has contributed to their current state. They express a feeling of being past saving and mere shadows of their former selves, with darkness cascading over them and making them evil. The lyrics mention the idea of holding onto Holy Bibles, but it is portrayed as futile, as the character is already sinking in a metaphorical swamp with no chance of survival. There is a sense of surrender to darkness, with the character embracing a tormented existence and accepting the role of the reaper. The lyrics further explore the theme of evil and the price one must pay to become a god. The character mentions the voice of reason as a source of lies, advocating instead to obey sins and demons and see through evil's eyes. The song continues to describe a craving for blood, an affinity for gore, and the tantalizing flavor of violence. The character acknowledges being trapped in a macabre massacre orchestrated by sadistic savages and anticipates encountering even more horrifying experiences. As the song progresses, the protagonist becomes more resigned to their fate, no longer seeking salvation and instead considering death as a preferable outcome. They are tempted to transcend mortality and escape the confines of mortal morality, embracing their inner darkness and becoming one with it. Overall, "Shadow of Myself" depicts a character trapped in a cycle of darkness, violence, and evil. It explores themes of corruption, descent into depravity, and a disregard for conventional morality.
