In Julia Jacklin's song, "I Was Neon," the lyrics depict a personal struggle with self-doubt, fear, and the desire to maintain one's true identity. The song starts by portraying the protagonist as a neon sign, symbolic of a vibrant and attention-grabbing presence. However, they also feel like they are just another door that people have walked through before, suggesting a sense of familiarity or insignificance. They feel like they can see everything clearly, possibly referring to a heightened awareness of their surroundings or emotions. The line "I was steady, I was soft to the touch" could imply that the protagonist had a sense of stability, yet they question whether they welcomed too much into their life, hinting at a fear of being overwhelmed or losing control. They could also be referring to their emotional vulnerability. The repeated question, "Am I gonna lose myself again?" reveals the protagonist's fear of losing their sense of identity and becoming someone they don't recognize or like. They express a fondness for the person they are, emphasizing their desire to stay true to themselves. The imagery of being a floodlight and reaching out for everything in sight shows the protagonist's openness and willingness to embrace new experiences or opportunities. However, they still question whether they can fully embody or fulfill these aspirations. Overall, the song explores the internal struggle of self-doubt, the fear of losing oneself, and the desire to maintain authenticity. The protagonist acknowledges their current state of self-acceptance but wonders if they will revert to a sense of uncertainty and lose the progress they have made. The song calls for help and support in navigating this internal conflict and not wanting to lose oneself again.
