"(The Legend Of) Miss Baltimore Crabs" is a song from the musical Hairspray, performed by Michelle Pfeiffer as Velma Von Tussle and The Council Members. The song is about Velma's past as Miss Baltimore and her disdain for the current contestants auditioning for the crown. The song starts with Velma teaching dance steps to the Council Members as she criticizes the contestants for their lack of talent. Tracy, one of the contestants, is excited to be auditioning, while her friend Penny watches nervously. Velma reminisces about her own glory days and how the town has changed since she was crowned Miss Baltimore. She believes the girls competing now are not up to her standards. Amber, Velma's daughter, tries to join in with a scandalous move, but Velma stops her, reminding her that times have changed. Velma continues to mock the contestants, claiming that they are not worthy of the crown and that she knows best as a former winner. Amber, on the other hand, believes that the dance steps they are learning are perfect ammunition to win. Velma then decides to demonstrate how she took out the competition when she was competing. The Council Members join her in a dance routine, while Velma brags about her talent, cooking skills, and acrobatic moves. She believes that her triple somersault is what helped her clinch the Miss Baltimore title. As the audition continues, Tracy faces criticism for her size and her progressive views on integration. Velma dismisses her and announces that she will never be Miss Baltimore. Little Inez, an African-American girl, asks to audition, but Velma cruelly denies her the opportunity. The song ends with Velma asserting her dominance as Miss Baltimore and the Council Members chanting "Crabs." The song showcases Velma's arrogance and elitism, contrasting with Tracy's determination to challenge the status quo and fight for inclusivity.
