"Everything I Wanted" is a song by American singer-songwriter Billie Eilish. It was released in 2019 and is a deeply introspective track that reflects on fame, perception, and the pressure that comes with success. The song starts with the narrator having a dream where she has achieved everything she ever wanted. However, it quickly becomes apparent that her newfound success is not as fulfilling as she had anticipated. She mentions that it might have been a nightmare to anyone who truly cares about her. The narrator feels isolated and disconnected from those around her. She mentions feeling like she can fly, but when she steps off the metaphorical "Golden," she realizes that nobody pays attention or cares. It seems like she is experiencing a sense of loneliness and emotional emptiness despite achieving her dreams. The second verse focuses on the presence of someone who is supportive and caring, likely a loved one or a close friend. The narrator acknowledges that this person is by her side and assures her that as long as they are there, no one can hurt her. However, she confesses that she doesn't want to stay in this state of emotional turmoil and encourages this person to learn how to let go and move forward. The bridge describes a moment of desperation and feeling overwhelmed. The narrator tries to scream, but feels suffocated and diminished, as if her thoughts and emotions are being drowned out. She also expresses the criticism she faces from others, labeling her as weak or less important than she actually is. The final chorus repeats the narrator's dream and the realization that her success doesn't bring her genuine happiness. She contemplates whether she would make the same choices again if she knew the consequences and impact it would have on her mental health. She acknowledges that the opinions and judgments of others can have a profound effect on her, which indicates the heavy toll fame can take on a person's well-being. Overall, "Everything I Wanted" captures the struggles and challenges that come with achieving success and fame, as well as the importance of having genuine support and self-acceptance. The song explores the complex emotions and vulnerability that can accompany the pursuit of one's dreams.
