Em Beihold's song "12345" is a deeply personal and introspective track that dives into the artist's emotional struggles and daily life experiences. The lyrics paint a picture of a solitary existence, with imagery of a computer, fuzzy blanket, moldy food, and a one-person banquet, highlighting a sense of loneliness and isolation. The song captures the artist's melancholic state, mentioning being too depressed to play the piano and having deafening neighbors. Despite the hardships, there is a hint of determination and resilience as the music blasts and the artist holds onto a plant they managed to keep alive, representing a small victory in their life. The chorus, "Floating away like I'm a kite, reminding myself I'm still alive, try not to panic every night, one, two, three, four, five," reflects the artist's inner struggle to maintain their sense of self and cope with anxiety. The repetition of counting suggests a form of grounding or self-soothing technique to manage their emotions. As the song progresses, the artist questions their purpose and contemplates alternative paths like selling insurance or joining a pyramid scheme. These thoughts reveal a sense of disillusionment and uncertainty in their life. Towards the end, the artist acknowledges their need for comfort and validation, recognizing that nobody has loved them much that night, except for their own reflection in the mirror. This further emphasizes the feeling of isolation and the longing for connection. Overall, "12345" encapsulates Em Beihold's personal journey through depression, loneliness, and the constant effort to remind oneself of their existence and worth. It portrays the artist's struggle to find purpose and highlights the importance of self-care and self-validation in difficult times.
