"When I Was Cruel No. 1" is a song by Elvis Costello from his 2002 album titled "When I Was Cruel." The song addresses themes of deception, betrayal, and the complexities of relationships. The lyrics suggest that someone has caused harm or pain to the narrator. They question whether the person manipulated their way out of the situation or if someone else influenced their behavior. The song reflects on the grey area between right and wrong, questioning the moral compass of the person in question. Costello highlights the irony of how things were much simpler when he himself acted cruelly. He wonders why the person he is referencing left their happy home and engaged in questionable actions with strangers. The narrator accuses them of being a fraud and not understanding the true meaning of pain. The song challenges the person to stop pretending to be innocent, as the narrator is not fooled by their actions. Costello acknowledges that he once held a grudge and acted cruelly, causing unhappiness to others who followed him like cowards. He implies that the person he is addressing actually liked him during that period. Costello advises the person to search within themselves for any feelings or signals that could guide them. If they find something, he suggests they abandon their desires for revenge. The lyrics also touch upon the difficulty of judging the truth and the potential for forgotten moments when the narrator held a grudge. The song concludes with a repetition of the idea that the narrator was once cruel, making others unhappy, and being followed by cowards. However, they also suggest that the person being addressed secretly liked them during that time. Overall, "When I Was Cruel No. 1" explores the complexities of human behavior, the consequences of actions, and the shifting dynamics within relationships. It showcases Elvis Costello's introspective songwriting style and his ability to convey deep emotions through his lyrics.
