The Growlers's song "Gay Thoughts" explores the internal struggle and confusion of the narrator regarding their same-sex attraction. The lyrics express the narrator's efforts to suppress and control their gay thoughts and feelings, as they do not understand where they come from. They have been dealing with these emotions since a young age and find it challenging to conceal them. The narrator desperately tries to convince themselves that they love someone and do not want to lose them, despite their conflicting desires. However, they struggle to believe their own words and consistently deceive themselves. This highlights the internal conflict and confusion they face regarding their true identity and the societal pressures they may feel to conform. The lyrics suggest that part of the narrator's same-sex attraction is natural, but they also contemplate another darker aspect that they are unsure of. They express their struggle to control their behavior, especially when they are away from their usual environment, where their desires may be easier to hide. The repetition of "gay thoughts" throughout the song emphasizes the intrusive nature of these thoughts, linking them to every aspect of the narrator's life. They feel overwhelmed by these thoughts, as if they consume everything, including their sense of self. The lyrics convey a sense of unease and discomfort with these thoughts, representing them as someone they do not want to be. In the chorus, the narrator pleads for understanding and assistance in trying to explain these feelings. They express their longing to be accepted and not judged because they cannot control their own thoughts. The repetition of "I hardly believe me, I always deceive me, time after time" highlights their self-doubt and the repetitive nature of their internal struggle. Overall, "Gay Thoughts" delves into the complexity of the narrator's internal battle with their same-sex attraction, their attempts to suppress it, and the profound impact these thoughts have on their sense of self and relationships.
