The meaning and story of The Growlers' song "Pretend I'm Gay" is open to interpretation as it largely relies on personal subjective understanding. However, based on the lyrics, the song seems to explore themes of heartbreak, longing, and the struggle to move on from a past relationship. The lyrics suggest that the narrator is trying to cope with the pain of a broken relationship. They express surprise at the newfound smiles and positive aspects of their life that they never knew existed. Despite attempting to drown out the memories of their past lover, they find that the person keeps coming back into their thoughts. The lines about feeling "burning shakes" and having "odd smiles" could indicate a mix of conflicting emotions experienced by the narrator. They may feel a sense of emptiness or a void in their soul while finding some sort of reason or purpose in continuing forward. However, they still can't shake off the feeling of coldness or detachment associated with their emotional state. There is a mention of a voice falling and the face keeping up, possibly suggesting that the narrator's external façade hides the pain they feel inside. They express that they don't want love because all they want is their former lover to be present. The lyrics continue to describe the narrator's internal struggle, presenting two sides of themselves - one in the night and one in the day, with no in-between. This could represent the battle between their emotions and rationality. The line about "one thousand souls fighting for control" implies a constant internal conflict while referencing the man with a long gone dream, suggesting the narrator's struggle with letting go of past aspirations or emotions. Towards the end of the song, the dream being gone signifies that the narrator has faced reality. They "float along" and pretend that nothing is wrong, putting on a brave face to the world. The line "Pretend I'm gay, I'm numb to all things straight" is cryptic, but it can be interpreted as an attempt to distract themselves or convince others that they are happy by adopting a carefree or lighthearted attitude. Overall, "Pretend I'm Gay" seems to revolve around the aftermath of heartbreak, the struggle to move on, and the complexities of navigating emotions and appearances. The Growlers' lyrics leave room for individual interpretations, and listeners may find their own personal connections and meanings within the song.
