"Self-Inflicted Achromatic" by JubyPhonic is a song that explores themes of self-doubt, feeling inadequate, and the desire to conform to others' expectations. The lyrics suggest that the protagonist wants to be someone they're not, believing that they would be accepted and loved if they could embody the person others want them to be. The opening line, "I wanna be like you, I wanna say that I can," reflects the desire to be someone else. The protagonist yearns to be seen as the person others perceive them to be, even questioning if the person they have become is authentic. The lyrics also convey a deep sense of loneliness and the feeling of being a burden on others. The line "Just by living I'm hurting them another day, hundreds cry, all I do is ruin everything" shows the protagonist's belief that their presence only causes pain for others and they bring nothing but destruction to those around them. The song explores the idea of escaping from this perceived reality. The line "If only I could live in that kind of world I dreamed" implies a longing for a different world where they would be accepted and valued. As the song progresses, the protagonist becomes more resolved to end their life, believing it is the best solution. The lines "Just by leaving I'm helping them another day, hundreds smile, all they do is laugh at everything" reflect the protagonist's belief that their absence would bring happiness to others. The lyrics also touch upon the lack of connection and support the protagonist feels. They mention the absence of anyone who wants or needs them, and express a desire for a world where they could live without experiencing pain or rejection. However, towards the end of the song, there is a glimmer of hope. The protagonist acknowledges the impact of a genuine smile from someone who cares and realizes that there are moments worth living for. They express gratitude for that person's support and question why they can't find the strength to overcome their struggles and find joy in life. In summary, "Self-Inflicted Achromatic" delves into the internal battles of self-doubt, longing for acceptance, and the yearning to escape. It depicts a struggle with self-worth and the challenges of finding happiness in a world where one feels disconnected and unable to meet others' expectations.
