"Before I Sleep" by Marika Hackman is a melancholic song that explores themes of passion, escape, and self-acceptance. The lyrics depict the singer being captivated by someone who shines light on their life but ultimately realizes that the relationship is not sustainable. The opening lines, "Burning, the roads through my mind are on fire. For the light you shed was blinding," convey the intense emotions and overwhelming presence of the person the singer is enamored with. They feel frozen and stuck, represented by being caught in sticky and golden tar. This imagery suggests a sense of entrapment and a desire to break free. The singer predicts that this intense connection will eventually lead to a destructive end, symbolized by a "shower of flame." They, however, acknowledge their own need for emotional cleansing and decide to detach themselves from the situation. The line "So drink your holy water soon, and I'll wash my loving hands, I'm through" implies a finality and their decision to move on. The mention of being "of the sun" and the night getting on suggests that the singer identifies with light and warmth, contrasting with the darkness and coldness of the night. They declare that when the dawn breaks warm, they will be gone, implying their intention to leave behind the darkness and find a brighter future. The following verse describes the singer standing at the edge of a metaphorical forest, representing the unknown or unexplored territory. The "milky bed" evokes a sense of dreaminess and uncertainty. The heart-stained sheets, worn around their waist, symbolize the emotional baggage they carry. Despite this, they hope their desired peace will be found and someone will wake them up in the future. The song concludes by highlighting the existence of both light and darkness within the singer: "For we exist at night, and a silent strip of light, unfurls against the mountain side." This line suggests that the singer acknowledges their own complexity and contrasts, accepting that both light and darkness are part of their identity. Overall, "Before I Sleep" captures the struggle between infatuation and self-preservation. It explores the temptations and the consequences of being enamored and the need to find peace and self-identity before moving forward.
