"Shinitai Chan" is a song by JubyPhonic that explores themes of inner turmoil, longing for death, and the presence and importance of a supportive figure in one's life. The lyrics depict a person who is in a hospital, possibly contemplating suicide, but is also hesitant about dying because they know it would cause pain to someone they care about. The song starts by describing the hospital environment and the protagonist's struggle to remember what led them there. They recall that someone was there to support them but couldn't reach them when they were falling apart. The protagonist wonders if this person has overcome their own struggles yet. The lyrics then express the protagonist's conflicting emotions. They express a desire to die, but at the same time, they acknowledge that the person they care about would be deeply affected by their death. The scars and blood mentioned in the song could symbolize the emotional pain and self-harm the protagonist has experienced. As the song progresses, the protagonist reflects on the past and how forgetting the supportive person leaves them feeling alone and without direction. They compare their past self to a mirrored show and express a sense of longing to fully understand themselves. The mention of mushrooms growing on their head could represent their confusion or an overwhelming presence of negative thoughts. However, as the song nears its end, the protagonist shifts their perspective. They express a desire to live and acknowledge that they have always had an inner longing for connection and support. They question where the supportive person would be if they were to die. The lyrics then repeat the conflicting feelings of wanting to die but being unable to, due to the presence of the supportive person. The scars and memories are said to never fade, indicating the lasting impact of past pain. The song ends with a plea to help explain the meaning and story behind the pain that the protagonist and the supportive person have both experienced together. Overall, "Shinitai Chan" portrays the internal struggles and conflicting emotions of a person contemplating suicide, highlighting the importance of support and connection in their life.
