"Poor Napoleon" is a song by Elvis Costello and The Attractions from their 1982 album, "Imperial Bedroom." The song tells the story of a troubled relationship and highlights themes of disappointment, deceit, and self-control. The lyrics depict a narrator who is fed up with their current situation, feeling burnt and uncomfortable on the bed. The phrase "You can take the truthful things you've said to me and put them on the head of a pin" suggests that the person they are involved with has only been providing small and insignificant truths. The mention of Napoleon in the song refers metaphorically to the narrator feeling inadequate or powerless in their relationship. They are being let down by their partner, who always looks disappointed when the narrator removes their stockings. The line "Don't you know the facts of life, boy, don't you know what these things cost" implies a disconnect in understanding between the two individuals. The mention of a woman selling stolen kisses indicates that the partner may be involved in dishonest or illicit activities. Adding "Magic Fingers" suggests manipulating or deceiving others. The narrator expresses doubt that this woman lives up to her advertised image, just like a place that turns spines into soapflakes, indicating further deception. The song takes a melancholic turn as the narrator bids goodnight to a little schoolboy, urging him to learn self-control and criticizing his messed hairstyle and begging demeanor. The reference to "bare wires from the socket to the bed" suggests a dangerous or unstable connection between the narrator and their partner. The narrator questions the overcrowding of the world, hinting at a sense of disillusionment and overwhelm. The lyrics also mention the possibility of a movie being made about the events described, where a slow dissolving kiss, rather than a murder, becomes the central theme. This line suggests a dark and uncertain outcome for the relationship. Overall, "Poor Napoleon" tells a story of disappointment, deception, and the narrator's struggle to navigate a troubled relationship. The song showcases Elvis Costello's signature lyrical style and emotional depth.
